


Requiem (Squash one, Squash two...)

by BookDragon14



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: F/F, F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I sorry Henry, Murder Squash Song, Noah is my precious little cinammon roll though, Not really Ronan/Noah but sort of implied, Ronan dreams magic snow-globes, The main relationships are Noah and Ronan and Ronan and Blue, post trk, why am i so obsessed with this idea??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 02:30:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12401244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookDragon14/pseuds/BookDragon14
Summary: The Gangsey realizes Noah is gone and this is the fic I wrote to vent my feels about Noah and show how I think the Gangsey would react to Noah's disappearance.





	Requiem (Squash one, Squash two...)

It takes them far too long to notice that Noah is gone. With Blue and Gansey traveling abroad and Ronan and Adam staying at the Barns while they try to rebuild Cabeswater they don't put it together until the end of the summer. Perhaps it's not so surprising, what with the demon, Glendower, Cabeswater and Gansey's deaths and Gansey's resurrection, as well as everything that came in the aftermath.

But that doesn't make it any easier to know how long it had taken them to realize. It's a hot day at the end of summer when they finally put it together. The group (minus Henry) are gathered at the Barns, discussing what comes next. Later, they don't remember exactly who first brought up Noah, perhaps it doesn't matter. They each handle the discovery in their own ways.

Gansey immediately blames himself, wondering if maybe, had Cabeswater not sacrificed itself for him, Noah wouldn't be gone. Adam just sits there, dumbstruck and grieving. Ronan punches a hole in the wall. Blue calls 300 Fox Way to confirm that he is really gone. When she hangs up she stands still for a minute, then punches a hole right next to Ronan's

* * *

That night Ronan dreams. When he wakes there is a too-familiar skeleton at the foot of his bed. The second night he finds a skateboard and a Blink-182 sticker beside him. On the third night he wakes to blankets soaked with somebody else's blood. On the fourth night he sleeps outside. He finds a decked out red Mustang overgrown with vines laden with multicolored flowers, each one strikingly different in color and shape, all of them glittering as the sun hits them.

On the fifth night he sleeps in the barn with Chainsaw nestled beside his cheek, and Opal snuggled against his back. He falls asleep to the gentle breathing of his father's dream cows, and Opal's muttered Latin as she dreams. He wakes with five snow-globes tucked into the curl of his body.

* * *

 

Ronan calls his friends and within an hour they are gathered around him. He hands the first snow-globe to Gansey. The base is made of gold, covered with ravens and engraved with the words _The King_. Adam's is steel, with decorated with leaves and vines, labeled _The Magician_.

Blue's is by far the most beautiful, made of a strange silvery metal with subtle colors shifting beneath it's surface. _Blue Lily, Lily Blue_ , it says in swirling script that is surrounded by a circle of spikes that have a suspicious resemblance to Blue's hair. Lilies are sculpted into the metal with loving detail.

Ronan explains to his friends how they work. With the gentlest shake the globes fill with shimmering, multicolored glitter. When the globe clears a memory of Noah plays within it. The globes are intuitive too, he says, the memories shown tailored to what you needed to see when you shook it. He doesn't mention how he knows.

When pressed, Ronan produces his own. It is constantly changing, material, color, and shape shifting for no apparent reason. The one thing that stays the same are the words. _The Dreamer_ , it is labeled, and beneath that in smaller letters is a short inscription, _Squash one, Squash two..._

Blue laughs softly, hugging her snow-globe to her chest before rising to her feet and throwing her arms around Ronan. For once he lets her stay there, wrapping his own arms around her small form. She speaks softly into his chest, looking up at him with eyes glimmering with tears.

"They're from Noah, aren't they?"

"Yeah Maggot, I think so."

* * *

 

They treasure the snow-globes in their own way. Gansey places his in the window beside his mint plant wherever he is staying, to remind him of Noah, and everything his friend had done for them. Adam's is tucked away beside Persephone's deck of tarot cards in a box beside his desk where he can look at it when working two jobs on top of classes gets to be too much. Blue's is always sitting by her pillow, wherever she goes. She falls asleep to memories of a best friend and a first kiss.

Ronan carries his with him wherever he goes. On good days he stares at it for hours on end. On bad ones he hurls it against the wall, or just throws it as far into the woods or fields as he can. He always goes back for it. Much like Blue he keeps his beside his bed, finding that it tends to ward off the worst of the nightmares.

He gives the fifth one to Opal. He supposes he could've given it to Henry, but he isn't ready to accept him as part of the group yet. Rivalries aside, it feels too much like replacing Noah. He wants Opal to know Noah too, wants her to understand who and what he was to them.

She treasures hers as much as any of Noah's friends. Not just because it is important to Kerah, but because the memories intrigue her. They show a different side to Kerah and his friends. In them she sees a openness, a vulnerability, and tenderness she never does when she watches them now. She wonders if the dead boy had been the only one able to draw it out, or if his disappearance had simply ended that part of their lives.

* * *

The snow-globes aren't the only way they remember Noah. Gansey, as he builds a cardboard model of his college campus in his dorm late at night talks to Noah. He tells him quietly about what is going on in his life, and sometimes it helps him go back to sleep. He remembers a friend who brought them together, loyal to the last.

Adam tries often to communicate with Noah. Sometimes he uses the tarot cards, sometimes he returns to the new Cabeswater and tries to speak to him from there. He remembers a ghost who clung on to the last scraps of life to be with them. He remembers the nights after his father had hit him when Noah would come to talk, or simply sit beside him and keep Adam company.

Blue wears her hair in spikes wherever she goes. She takes to wearing glittery makeup, and often her clothes have a bit of glitter, as carefully applied as the artful rips and tears. She listens to his outdated, shitty music-- she even listens to the Murder Squash song, because remembering him and Ronan singing that horrible song brings a smile to her face. Blue remembers a best friend, a first kiss. 

Ronan dreams. He dreams something to recreate Cabeswater. He dreams something to wake his father's dream creatures. He dreams something to make his own dream-things independent from himself. He tries to dream Noah back. 

He never does.

* * *

It's the anniversary of... well everything. Of Noah and Cabeswater's disappearances. Of Glendower's discovery. Of Gansey's death and resurrection. Every year, whatever else is happening the four of them and Opal, and sometimes Henry gather in the new Cabeswater. They meet at Monmouth and all pile into the Pig so they can drive there together.

They walk through the seasons till they find the place Cabeswater has made for them. It is different every year, but is always warm and sunny. Often ravens can be seen, flying overhead or roosting in the trees. When they appear Chainsaw often joins them, flying at the head of the flock or sitting on a branch not far from Ronan.

There are always lilies.  Shimmering in shades of blue, turquoise, aqua, sky, cerulean, cobalt and sapphire, and a thousand others as well. They grow everywhere, beautiful and impossible and magical-- just like Blue, Gansey tells her. Often the words are accompanied by a smile and a kiss, because they can  _kiss_ now.

Then Adam will grin at them and kiss Ronan, a kiss always interrupted by Chainsaw or Opal. They all laugh when this happens and they eat the food they brought and listen to music and talk. They remember everything that happened here. Well, here was a relative term in Cabeswater, and the past-tense wasn't something that could ever accurately be used anywhere on a ley line.

When they finally leave, arms around each other, hands held tightly, Ronan begins to sing. 

"Squash one-"

"NO!!!" 

Everybody else screams. They all laugh and Gansey pretends to scold him for singing the Murder Squash song. They tumble into the Pig and drive off, bickering and laughing; so happy it almost hurts. At the edge of Cabeswater, in a field of blue lilies there is a shimmer in the air. A mirage, a heat haze, an echo in the shape of a seventeen year old boy in a rumpled Aglionby sweater. There is a grin on his face, and he shouts after the Camaro:

" _Squash two_ _, Squash three..."_

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first TRC fic and I hope you liked it! I didn't like how his disappearance was handled in TRK (or at least how we didn't even see the Gangsey's reaction to it) and I wrote this. BTW, look up the song "Disappear" from Dear Evan Hansen, it totally fits Noah!


End file.
